Friday, July 6, 2012
Sloth
I am going to do a formal update soon. I will post the progress with my skin care and my health etc. In the mean time though, I just want to mention that I have been feeling like a giant hermit crab the last week. I swear to you, if I did not have to leave the house, I wouldn't. I am in a phase where not getting dressed, lounging on the couch, watching brain-cell killing tv shows, and eating pizza are my idea of an amazing day. Of course I have too many things I have already committed time to so I am unable to create a new butt grove in the couch, but the hermit crab feeling remains nonetheless. Getting my butt out of bed and into the 'real world' has taken SO MUCH willpower lately. Maybe all of this is just my body having an allergic reaction to the 100 degree dry heat. Or maybe a big part of my brain is tired of being an adult and having adult responsibilities( why go grocery shopping when there are hundreds of hours of MTV to catch up on?). What ever the cause may be, I am just thankful that I can afford to unleash some of my inner sloth. After all, isn't that what summer is for?
And did I mention that I am doing everything I possibly can to avoid social situations at the moment?
Friday, May 25, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
'freaky' psychological conditions
I believe that this individual has a genuine psychological condition. There are various brain disorders that cause someone to feel like their limbs are not their own, that they are just appendages slowing them down. Sometimes the people we label as "freaks" actually have brain disorders, and I wonder if that is the case with this person:
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Trial update/change
Hello everyone!
Here we are at the three month mark. I recently went to the dermatologists office, and after that meeting I have decided to change the direction of my challenge.
At the doctors I learned that the reason my anti-scaring regimen was not working is because I do not have scars. I have inflamed tissue under the skin. This inflammation causes the skin cells to produce an excess of pigment, which results in blotchy marks resembling scars. It actually has a name, but heck if I remember what it is(I probably could not spell it anyhow).
This diagnosis obviously changes the products I need to use to achieve the results I am desiring. I have been prescribed a topical Retin-A product to use a few nights a week, and an anti-redness/anti-eczema cream for both day and night. My doc wants me to continue using my over the counter peels, oh and I will need MORE laser treatments.
This is how I feel I look after a laser treatment
One main thing I made a point to do was to bring in all my skin care products. I wanted her to know what I am doing, and I wanted to know how she would improve my routine. I expected some tips and ideas, but I was not prepared for the intense distaste she had for practically my entire skin care plan. The only things she approved of were my face wash and my peels. We actually got in a bit of a fight because she was trying to convince me that the anti-bacterial essential oils I have been using on my skin actually cause acne. She said I should not use Jojoba and olive oil on my face because "it just does not make sense". Needless to say, she did not make very convincing arguments to back up her points.
It was very hard to not take her comments personally. I spend hours and hours and hours researching products before I ever put them on my face. I read every review I can get my hands on, and I weigh the pros and cons. Having her tell me that according to Western standards my skin care sucked, was a hard comment to hear because it felt like a big 'fuck you' thrown right in my face. I had to remember that she is after all a doctor trained in Western medicine, and I did chose to come to see her. Even though I still disagree with her claims(and I cannot find ONE study that confirms that essential oils cause acne) I am trying to like her for what she is, a Western practitioner(oh and do not even get me started on how she said "there is no definitive link between eating habits and skin health").
Anyway, being around someone who swears on their grave that man made chemicals are more awesome than ones from nature, got me thinking. I am going to do a challenge where I only use commercial skin care products for 3 months. I can tell you right now, this will be the hardest challenge I have EVER done. Even harder than my three day juice fast and my 10 days of no sugar(did not post those online). Using honey, lavender oil and apple cider vinegar is first nature to me now. Natural materials are my go-to product of choice. I am going to use her prescriptions and see how it goes. I am very emotionally attached to my homemade concoctions and all they represent, I will miss them.
I am willing to try a different way of resolving my problem of freaky pigmentation. I am taking a huge leap of faith by doing this challenge, and it is a bit scary...so wish me luck! I will update you soon.
Here we are at the three month mark. I recently went to the dermatologists office, and after that meeting I have decided to change the direction of my challenge.
At the doctors I learned that the reason my anti-scaring regimen was not working is because I do not have scars. I have inflamed tissue under the skin. This inflammation causes the skin cells to produce an excess of pigment, which results in blotchy marks resembling scars. It actually has a name, but heck if I remember what it is(I probably could not spell it anyhow).
This diagnosis obviously changes the products I need to use to achieve the results I am desiring. I have been prescribed a topical Retin-A product to use a few nights a week, and an anti-redness/anti-eczema cream for both day and night. My doc wants me to continue using my over the counter peels, oh and I will need MORE laser treatments.
This is how I feel I look after a laser treatment
One main thing I made a point to do was to bring in all my skin care products. I wanted her to know what I am doing, and I wanted to know how she would improve my routine. I expected some tips and ideas, but I was not prepared for the intense distaste she had for practically my entire skin care plan. The only things she approved of were my face wash and my peels. We actually got in a bit of a fight because she was trying to convince me that the anti-bacterial essential oils I have been using on my skin actually cause acne. She said I should not use Jojoba and olive oil on my face because "it just does not make sense". Needless to say, she did not make very convincing arguments to back up her points.
It was very hard to not take her comments personally. I spend hours and hours and hours researching products before I ever put them on my face. I read every review I can get my hands on, and I weigh the pros and cons. Having her tell me that according to Western standards my skin care sucked, was a hard comment to hear because it felt like a big 'fuck you' thrown right in my face. I had to remember that she is after all a doctor trained in Western medicine, and I did chose to come to see her. Even though I still disagree with her claims(and I cannot find ONE study that confirms that essential oils cause acne) I am trying to like her for what she is, a Western practitioner(oh and do not even get me started on how she said "there is no definitive link between eating habits and skin health").
Anyway, being around someone who swears on their grave that man made chemicals are more awesome than ones from nature, got me thinking. I am going to do a challenge where I only use commercial skin care products for 3 months. I can tell you right now, this will be the hardest challenge I have EVER done. Even harder than my three day juice fast and my 10 days of no sugar(did not post those online). Using honey, lavender oil and apple cider vinegar is first nature to me now. Natural materials are my go-to product of choice. I am going to use her prescriptions and see how it goes. I am very emotionally attached to my homemade concoctions and all they represent, I will miss them.
I am willing to try a different way of resolving my problem of freaky pigmentation. I am taking a huge leap of faith by doing this challenge, and it is a bit scary...so wish me luck! I will update you soon.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Wedding ideas
I know I am not getting married for at least another four years, but I started looking for ideas anyway. I think wedding planning is one activity that brings out my girly side. :)
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Relax people, it is only food
People freak out a lot about food these days.
We live in a society where we have the privilege to pick our food, enjoy our food and change our diets based on our needs. For the most part we no longer have to eat food just as fuel, just shovel it down to fill you up until the next meal. In this 21st century people have more knowledge about food than ever before, and we have it all at our finger tips. This can be seen as positive, or negative.
In general Americans have more 'down/leisure' time than ever before. This time has been used by many to experiment with foods and different diets. That is a positive (knowledge is power). The negative aspect comes a long when people spend so much of their time and energy on food that they become obsessed. Now eating disorders can be a result of this, but that is not what I want to address. I want to address the peoples who get so intense about food, they become very critical and intense.
I like to take joy in my food. I like to plan meals, chop, cook, smell the wonderful aromas and relax by enjoying my meal. It really gets to me when people spend so much time dissecting their food that they cannot enjoy it. Then these individuals in question spread their dissecting ways onto others, and imply that their way of eating is 'wrong'. Quite frankly, this pisses me off.
If you do not think that people should eat X, then fine don't eat X. If someone asks you for advice or casually mentions X then it is polite to share your opinion. Butting in is not cool or appreciated. Yes some people need food interventions, but most of the time it is not your place to suggest such a thing. Food is complicated.
I am a huge advocate of making food your medicine. I am all for a diet high in fruits, veggies and beans. I do nutrition research to some degree on a daily basis and I have for years. I enjoy nutrition and seeing how my body reacts to different ways of eating. I do not believe that humans need much grain in their diets at all. I am not a fan of dairy products. I admit that I do cringe when I hear that people still eat Pop Tarts and drink soda with no intent of stopping. Yet I know that it does not put me in a position to overtly judge others eating habits.
Who the freak cares what other eat? Unless they are a diabetic gorging on Snickers bars, obese and wont admit they have a problem or something along the line, it is hard for me to see why it matters what other people eat.
Focus on your own body. If you want to be critical, maybe harvest some of that energy into your life style in the form of motivation to improve your habits. Everyone is on their own path. The path also includes their food choices. If you do not know all of the circumstances surrounding someones food decisions, then back off.
And most importantly, remember to take pleasure in your eating. Do not be too hard on yourself and remember, you know your body best(as opposed to the biggest online health guru).
We live in a society where we have the privilege to pick our food, enjoy our food and change our diets based on our needs. For the most part we no longer have to eat food just as fuel, just shovel it down to fill you up until the next meal. In this 21st century people have more knowledge about food than ever before, and we have it all at our finger tips. This can be seen as positive, or negative.
In general Americans have more 'down/leisure' time than ever before. This time has been used by many to experiment with foods and different diets. That is a positive (knowledge is power). The negative aspect comes a long when people spend so much of their time and energy on food that they become obsessed. Now eating disorders can be a result of this, but that is not what I want to address. I want to address the peoples who get so intense about food, they become very critical and intense.
I like to take joy in my food. I like to plan meals, chop, cook, smell the wonderful aromas and relax by enjoying my meal. It really gets to me when people spend so much time dissecting their food that they cannot enjoy it. Then these individuals in question spread their dissecting ways onto others, and imply that their way of eating is 'wrong'. Quite frankly, this pisses me off.
If you do not think that people should eat X, then fine don't eat X. If someone asks you for advice or casually mentions X then it is polite to share your opinion. Butting in is not cool or appreciated. Yes some people need food interventions, but most of the time it is not your place to suggest such a thing. Food is complicated.
I am a huge advocate of making food your medicine. I am all for a diet high in fruits, veggies and beans. I do nutrition research to some degree on a daily basis and I have for years. I enjoy nutrition and seeing how my body reacts to different ways of eating. I do not believe that humans need much grain in their diets at all. I am not a fan of dairy products. I admit that I do cringe when I hear that people still eat Pop Tarts and drink soda with no intent of stopping. Yet I know that it does not put me in a position to overtly judge others eating habits.
Who the freak cares what other eat? Unless they are a diabetic gorging on Snickers bars, obese and wont admit they have a problem or something along the line, it is hard for me to see why it matters what other people eat.
Focus on your own body. If you want to be critical, maybe harvest some of that energy into your life style in the form of motivation to improve your habits. Everyone is on their own path. The path also includes their food choices. If you do not know all of the circumstances surrounding someones food decisions, then back off.
And most importantly, remember to take pleasure in your eating. Do not be too hard on yourself and remember, you know your body best(as opposed to the biggest online health guru).
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
First package came today!
Oh Happy day! I got two of my purchases in the mail today :) I can't wait to start using these, the anticipation is intense. Haha I wonder how many other people get as excited over skin care products as I do.
Also quick note about the Novena skin cream. Turns out that the only lightening cream I could find that is not horribly toxic, is a cream intended for use during pregnancy(since chemicals while preggo is bad). Opps, oh well. It has great reviews, so i'm sure it will be fine. :)
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
The epic anti-scar trial: starting date and tools
Hello lovelies!
First things first, turns out when you order stuff online you cannot set a concrete start date for using them. I would love to already have a day marked on the calendar to start this trial, but because shipping is unpredictable I do not have that ability.
Next up, my topical tools! :)
Main anti-scar tools:
I am very excited to get the products in the mail and start using them! I have been saving up for this trial for a while and I have been planning it for months. I have meticulously researched products, and decided on the ones that had the best reviews, the best prices and contain ingredients I know will treat my body well. I have high hopes for the next four months!
First things first, turns out when you order stuff online you cannot set a concrete start date for using them. I would love to already have a day marked on the calendar to start this trial, but because shipping is unpredictable I do not have that ability.
Next up, my topical tools! :)
Main anti-scar tools:
- 30 ml Salicylic acid skin peel 20% and neutralizing wash
- Skin Bright premium concentrate skin brightener(contains all natural ingredients)
- Novena organic Bearberry skin brightening mositurizer
- Light&Bright lightening concentrate
- Aveno daily Spf
- raw, unfiltered, local honey
- Zeo force mud mask by Health Force
- extra virgin olive oil
- manuka oil
- Week B
- Week A
- Week B
- Week A
I am very excited to get the products in the mail and start using them! I have been saving up for this trial for a while and I have been planning it for months. I have meticulously researched products, and decided on the ones that had the best reviews, the best prices and contain ingredients I know will treat my body well. I have high hopes for the next four months!
Sunday, February 5, 2012
The epic anti-scar trial: introduction
I am starting my blog back up and running in order to document my upcoming four-month trial.
I have decided to take a serious effort to improve the texture of my skin, and document it. So what specifically am I trying to alter? I am trying to get rid of my hyper-pigmentation and scars.
First, some background:
How did I originally get the hyper-pigmentation and why do I continue to develop it?
I want to be sure that there are not misconceptions that I have this skin problem because I do not take good care of my skin or my body. When I was 15 I was prescribed the drug Acutane for seven months. Turns out this was a very bad decision. The drug left me with a screwed up digestive system, and hyper-pigmented skin. One of the side-effects is increased chances of "abnormal pigmentation of the skin" (as they put it). Due to Acutane's side-effects and my spectacular cellular memory, the scars have remained...and duplicated. It is interesting how easily I get new pigmentation. Stressed? New scar. Ate too much sugar? New scar. The only thing that does not cause new pigmentation to form are topical products.
What have I already done to get rid of the hyper-pigmentation?
In list form(used all of these topically for more than 3 months, usually used more than one in any given week/day):
Why take such initiative to change my skin now?
1) I am sick and tired of wearing make up
2) I am turning twenty soon
1- Makeup should be fun. When I am self-conscious, and want to cover half my face in foundation, makeup is no longer enjoyable. In fact I currently find makeup very stressful. I dislike shopping for it. I dislike putting it on. I dislike not knowing what I am doing with said foundation. So you might be thinking: why don't you just be confident and not wear makeup if you hate it so much? Well I admit, I have a construct with makeup. It is a love-hate relationship. I do not like putting it on, buying it or even sometimes wearing it. But I do enjoy that I am more confident with it on, and I feel like I can show off my true beauty(not just my uneven skin). One main thing I want to accomplish with this trial is to alter my skin enough that I feel more 'normal' without foundation on. I want to feel great with just lotion on(and of course I want makeup become fun again :] ).
2- I associate my hyper-pigmentation with my teenage years. I am an adult now, and I will be considered to be even more so when I am twenty. I do not want my 'teenage skin' to also become 'my troubled twenties skin'. I feel like a victim of circumstance in regards to these scars, I want to leave them behind me and move on. I do not want anything to hold me back, and sadly these scars are a hindrance on daily life.
I have decided to take a serious effort to improve the texture of my skin, and document it. So what specifically am I trying to alter? I am trying to get rid of my hyper-pigmentation and scars.
First, some background:
How did I originally get the hyper-pigmentation and why do I continue to develop it?
I want to be sure that there are not misconceptions that I have this skin problem because I do not take good care of my skin or my body. When I was 15 I was prescribed the drug Acutane for seven months. Turns out this was a very bad decision. The drug left me with a screwed up digestive system, and hyper-pigmented skin. One of the side-effects is increased chances of "abnormal pigmentation of the skin" (as they put it). Due to Acutane's side-effects and my spectacular cellular memory, the scars have remained...and duplicated. It is interesting how easily I get new pigmentation. Stressed? New scar. Ate too much sugar? New scar. The only thing that does not cause new pigmentation to form are topical products.
What have I already done to get rid of the hyper-pigmentation?
In list form(used all of these topically for more than 3 months, usually used more than one in any given week/day):
- vitamin E
- fresh aloe vera
- extra virgin olive oil
- clinique brightening serum
- glycolic acid 10%
- straight lemons
- manuka honey 20+ umf
- apple cider vinegar
- mud masks
- manuka oil
- jojoba oil with lavender oil
- straight lavender oil
- vitamin C serum
- bio oil
- four laser treatments
Why take such initiative to change my skin now?
1) I am sick and tired of wearing make up
2) I am turning twenty soon
1- Makeup should be fun. When I am self-conscious, and want to cover half my face in foundation, makeup is no longer enjoyable. In fact I currently find makeup very stressful. I dislike shopping for it. I dislike putting it on. I dislike not knowing what I am doing with said foundation. So you might be thinking: why don't you just be confident and not wear makeup if you hate it so much? Well I admit, I have a construct with makeup. It is a love-hate relationship. I do not like putting it on, buying it or even sometimes wearing it. But I do enjoy that I am more confident with it on, and I feel like I can show off my true beauty(not just my uneven skin). One main thing I want to accomplish with this trial is to alter my skin enough that I feel more 'normal' without foundation on. I want to feel great with just lotion on(and of course I want makeup become fun again :] ).
2- I associate my hyper-pigmentation with my teenage years. I am an adult now, and I will be considered to be even more so when I am twenty. I do not want my 'teenage skin' to also become 'my troubled twenties skin'. I feel like a victim of circumstance in regards to these scars, I want to leave them behind me and move on. I do not want anything to hold me back, and sadly these scars are a hindrance on daily life.
In the next post I will share the tools I will use in the trial.
Stay tuned! :)
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