day seven: end of week two

Time to tie up the second week.  Looking back, all I can say is that I hope to god this upcoming week is better than last week. It was a hard week with school work on top of sickness. Looking up songs and poems really aided in my destressing.  Because it was so relaxing, I am declaring this weeks challenge a success. Listening to songs helped me figure out what I was really feeling(was I mad at the traffic or just super super tired?) and knowing whats behind your emotions is important. 

to finish the challenge here is my song. I decided not to include a poem....mainly because my mind is too blank to be reading poetry at the moment.

day five and six

On Friday and Saturday I was feeling pretty darn great. It was the end of the week, the sun was out , whats not to love?

Here is the song I repeatedly played on my ipod those two days. I can't help it, this song puts me in a great mood! :D

day four

Twenty four hours have passed and my motivation still has not reappeared. I am practically counting down the days until Christmas break(six weeks!!!).

This has been a hard semester and my brain is nowhere to be found.  I'm hoping it will return after a month of decompressing and taking more time for myself. I am starting to understand why some people quit college sometimes for no 'real' apparent reason. It is hard to keep enthusiasm up after weeks,, months or years of monotony and feeling like you are going nowhere fast(hello classes that do not add much to your educational experience). 

This tends to be one of my 'motivation' songs. As well as being motivating, this song also makes me happy because it brings back good memories.  This song exploded on the radio around 2002 and I clearly remember jamming to it with my friends. :)



I decided on this poem because it highlights my impatientnessssssssssss

To Impatience

the secrets of hunger
for some prize not yet there
sight of face touch of skin
light in another valley
labor triumphant or
last word of a story
without which you insisted
the world would not be complete
soon soon you repeated
it cannot be too soon yet you know it can
and you know it would be
the end of you too only
if it ever arrives
you find something else missing
and I know I must thank you
for your faithful discontent
and what it has led me to
yes yes you have guided me
but what is hard now to see
is the mortal hurry

W. S. Merwin

day three

Where has my motivation gone? I swear it went on vacation...or got brutally murdered by zombies.

In honor of my lazyness I am making The Lazy Song the song of the day. 

Note: this video really wigs me out because i'm afraid of monkeys...*shivers*

Here is a great poem that really reminds me of a conversation I have AT LEAST once every week:


Being Boring

If you ask me "whats new?", I have nothing to say
Except that the garden is growing.
I had a slight cold, but it's better today.
I'm content with the way things are going.
Yes, he is the same as he usually is,
Still eating, and sleeping and snoring.
I get on with my work. He gets on with his.
I know this is all very boring. 

There was drama enough in my turbulent past:
Tears and passion-i've used up a tank full.
No news is good news, and long may it last,
If nothing much happens i'm thankful.
A happier cabbage you never did see,
My vegetable spirits are soaring.
If you're after excitement stay well clear of me.
I want to go on being boring.  

week two day two- a.k.a the day that never ended

As you can tell from the title, today was a day that never ended.
This morning my car went crazy, and I ran into my friends house. Great eh? I spent the last 8 hours hanging out there while it got fixed.  Considering what happened, things went better than expected, but still, my day was much longer than I expected it to be.

I wonder if the universe plans these things then points and laughs when they happen. Like a world-wide version of Punked.

Anyway....here's my song for the day.

I chose this one because thats how I feel, heavy.  My limbs feel to be dragging on the ground, my brain isn't working and I am very emotionally tired. 


Between the idea
and the reality
between the motion
and the act
falls the shadow

footfalls echo in memory
down the passage which we did not take
towards the door we never opened.
My words echo
thus in your mind.

But to what purpose
disturbing the dust
I do not know.

Week two: day 1

Welcome to week two!
      For this week I chose my challenge in response to my burn out.  I am tired, sick and my brain isn't working.  As much as I want to do an intense challenge, I can't handle it this week.  Though not intense, I still feel this challenge will help me learn more about myself. 
  So what is the challenge?

Everyday this week I will post a song and poem that embodies how I feel that day.  This will help me because I tend to have a hard time being able to organize my emotions. My hope is that forcing myself to put my emotions in concrete terms for a week will help my thoughts become less scattered over all.  And maybe in the process I will learn new songs and read some inspiring poems.  :) 

Day one: my song for today is "welcome to the black parade" by My Chemical Romance.  I chose this one because it is beautifully sad and meaningful. 
This part especially links with how I feel today:

We'll carry on, we'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone, believe me
Your memory will carry on, we'll carry on
And in my heart, I can't contain it
The anthem won't explain it

And while that sends you reeling
From decimated dreams
Your misery and hate will kill us all
So paint it black and take it back
Let's shout out loud and clear
Do you fight it to the end?

poem of the day:

If you want to solve  
All the confusion-problems
Of your mind,
Then resolve to live
Inside the illumination
Of your heart

I have not forgotten!

Hey all!
 Before i start this post i want to assure you i did not forgot about it! For the past week my hands have been killing me and I am only now able to type and write.  I have wide-spread joint inflammation.   Lovely eh? So I went to the health store, got some things proven to bring down inflammation and have almost completely cut out foods that propagate inflammation(sugar, wheat, dairy and gluten).  So far it's been about 3 days and I have already seen a big improvement.  I have some low-grade body wide infection that is just destroying my energy.

   Alright now, enough of that :)  How has my challenge been going since i last checked in? As for the food aspect, i think i have made a big improvement. I have stopped listening to my cravings and started listening to my body more. In situations where I really want junk, I just remind myself " those are not the only Cheetos on the planet, if you turn them down now, they will be available later". Telling myself that makes me feel less deprived and more excited about having healthy snacks. I have not had Starbucks once since i started the challenge and I am VERY proud of that fact! I only tend to drink Starbucks in the winter and i remember this time last year I spent $30 in one month on sugar filled coffee...now that was a wake up call! When ever i want a Starbucks-like drink and i'm home I just make myself some coffee. We have a low-sugar(aspartame free) pumpkin spice coffee enhancer that I add. Yum!
    I have also been doing well at being nice to others.  I have been thinking of others more often and going out of my way to be nice.  I did not do anything big like visit a children's hospital or start a fundraiser for some cause, but I feel the little things can have just as much impact, just in a different way. :)

What little forms of kindness make a difference in your life?